Fear to say smth in Relationships
😬 If we don’t pronounce our fears, we still don’t have each other because relationships are based on fear, not love.
Where there is fear, there is no love.
Because we are silent.
🤔 Fear of losing someone and therefore silence.
🫣 And because we are not satisfied (we keep silence of some need) - it’s all because we pretend to ourselves that we are satisfied - we haven’t said it and lie to ourselves - and then we don’t move and we can’t go get it here or somewhere else.
👎It’s like the fear of failure - if you don’t act, you will fail 100%.
If you act, you create along the way, and you study, and you find, and you test differently, and people help you and many more on this journey.
♥️And most importantly, you focus your attention on what you dreamed of, on what you wanted
💔 This way you aren’t focusing
- on the sadness that you don’t have it
- on the fear of losing unsatisfying relationships.
Where there is attention, there is energy.
And the same way it is here.
🤫 You feel unsatisfied. You don’t pronounce anad don’t talk. You don’t get or receive it somehow. You’re frozen 🥶. No movement, no energy. You’re clenched in your body because you’re restricting yourself.
🤢 You keep your thoughts inside, and your partner sees that you’re holding them back. That you’re hiding something. That you’re not being sincere. Relationships stop being sincere. It stops being alive.
Why? They become for something 💰, not for the perception of the whole self and the whole other in the relationship - but for what you have when you are with someone.
Even if it’s for:
- spiritual development 🧘🏻♀️
- for being in a calm space 🐳
- or for achievements in the business 🏆
❤️A real relationship is when you let yourself be yourself, and explore the other.
💼 What starts happening because of fear is a bazaar market. It’s not bad but needs to be pronounced, too.
What if your visavi doesn’t want this way?
So where is your illusion?
At least on the honest and frank bazaar you pronounce and then you get for the fair price if one has it 👍
And if one doesn’t has what you want, you never know because you didn’t asked.📞
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Rel market: how to stop being used?
// continuation of the previous post
Our decisions spreading on everything
👶🏼Where there’s fear, that’s where I didn’t grew up.
Why I didn’t grew up there? There is a fear and there was no energy, where is no energy - there is no growth.
So where I didn’t grow up, there decisions generalization.
Our decision not to feel our needs extends not only to us but to others as well.
Why we stop feeling the partner if we restricted our feelings and needs?
❓ What if you keeping yourself from saying it to your partner?
You could have say to yourself “I am happy and I wish for something else to feel full”.
🚫 Because we are such creatures: forbidding ourselves to pronounce to EVEN to ourselves that means devaluing ourselves, because we devalue our own need.
”No, I don’t really need and brush yourself off” — isn’t that the thing you’re doing to yourself?
😲 When you stop valuing and acknowledging yourself, then you stop valuing others too. You stop seeing their peculiarities and needs because you have denied yourself your own.
We are such creatures: if we forbid ourselves to feel something, we do it in all spheres and for all people - we cannot only forbid ourselves.
❕ Unconsciously we always relate to other people the very same way as we relate to ourselves. Because of it we can learn about ourselves through other people.
💶The decision to restrict your own needs has even more consequences. This is where the roots of the very relationship and trauma that “I was used” grow from: because you used others first.
❓How? You held on to something you thought you had and devalued that something else you wanted, and yes, you need more, and yes your other other needs are also important.
Here it is: I’m with you for what you’re giving me right now. I’ve turned a blind eye to the part of me that needs something else 🫣 That’s why I’ve closed my eyes to you too, and I only see what you’re giving me. So I’m with you for that, not to explore who you are and what kind of person you are.
That's the market, devaluing the other. Here you go if it hurts you more to devalue others than yourself maybe this can help you to stop devalue yourself.
So how to stop being on the bazaar and start live?
👍 Appreciate yourself by pronouncing your needs to your partner.
😱 Yes it’s scary. And now you see what happens if you allow the fear to control you.
So what do you choose:
- to live in the silent bazaar or
- to act on your and your partner’s side making sincere relationships and achieving your goals?
It’s only your choice.
Act on your side.
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⁉️ How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved
How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved and the same time get more satisfying life?
So let’s first understand how’s that happens that your partner feels rejection?
// continuation of the previous post
You are totally free to choose whatever experiences you wish.
❓ What is beyond the border?
Wholeness.
🫁 You are perceiving yourself whole as you are, breathe, live. Breathing here means a relaxed diaphragm - that is, you don’t hold yourself back from voicing your need.
To pronounce means is
- to respect yourself
- to hear yourself
- to recognize yourself
- to appreciate yourself
- to full recognize - you are important to yourself !
If you put off your needs, suppress them, you do not respect yourself, you do not value yourself, you do not recognize yourself.
So when you don’t appreciate yourself, it is the same way goes with other people.
💔 Another person feels your attitude to yourself… And he/she realizes that you do not respect him/her too! That you do not value him and that he is not important to you. Why? Because you are like that towards yourself, you have not learned to respect yourself, the dearest person in the world for you.
😭 In that case, to expect you to respect and value someone else is frivolous.
So you respect and value only one your need. And there are other needs that are yours. So you only partially recognize yourself. You only accept only part of yourself. That is not wholeness.
🙅🏼And this is transferred to another person: you see only what you accept in him/her, what you need, you reject the other.
💔 And this rejected part is very sad - it realizes on itself that it is not wanted to be seen because of your fear, it feels ostracism. That’s why she perceives your words about love as a lie: on the contrary, she is rejected.
❕ Instead of accepting the partner as he/she is, you first divided yourself into good and bad parts and then divided your partner into parts.
⁉️ So what is the answer?
The answer is the very same as in this post series:
- accept that you need something else, something more
- pronounce it, acknowledge that you need it
- find that what you need, not necessary with that partner maybe somewhere else: it increases your social activity, it’s good!
- be creative, be open, do not insist on the way of receiving or on the form of what you want to get
- it’s not necessary to sleep and have sex with anyone who gives you something you need! )
🔥So this way you live as a whole, and all other people also see it and your partner, too.
Live begins be less bore, more rich in events, in interesting people, locations.
The live becomes.. Satisfying.
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