It’s fearfull to send the next message.
**Partnerships **|| Different Truths
So here is the situation I faced. It triggered in me that emotions. I learned from this situation, that’s good.
In the galaxy far far away…
3 years ago I had a time-to-time relationships with one entrepreneur. Our last meeting was more than a year ago.
I refused to be a mother for his child. 🤱
Now I understand, by this I rejected him and his truth.
After that he become cold.
❓ Why would normal (?) woman reject to be a mother for an entrepreneur?
🤰 My thoughts were - I’m not about to be a mother of a child for a man who has 5 other woman with 5 other children 🧒👦👧👧🧒 He doesn’t love me. It’s just a Jewish fixation to have as many children as possible 🇮🇱
*His true is that it could have happen. *
my limiting beliefs that I see now: - you can love only one woman in life at once - you can only have one loved family in life
btw, his company goes quite well, and the very same time he has the “life has no drive” and extinguished state.
Run & Hurt
I know I was in pain, and I ran, — I was afraid to hurt him.
But it’s too late to run — I already hurt him more than a year ago.
Since our last meeting, things have changed a lot.
This time when he attempted to get some passion from my presence, he pronounced it, acknowledged.
He was with me to get a piece of drive and breathe that I already have ⚡️⚡️
**❓****Angry? **
This time my heart was already in pain, throat has lump bcz of his cold.
Not to write me for one year? Being attentive to himself only on the meeting, then what for am I there?
He probably was not behaving intentionally with coldness.
So because of I felt my pain, I non-intentionally / non-consciously made him feel pain and devalued, by noticing that he don’t know tantra but my man does know it. That was abusive.
He wondered whether I would educate my man with it, if that happens so he doesn’t know it, I replied, no - out of pain.
🎓 But, you - my subscribers, you know that actually I do educate my man with tantra - and you saw the post about it ♥️♥️
My Ego
My words were not loud but anyway too much painful.
I don't raise my voice but the whispered words is something to work on in self-development. If you don't know how to work it out — these words could be percept as an attack. Anyway, here in my blog I share with everyone — freely and openly — where and how one can heal everything.If part of me hurts somebody, the pain strikes at the heart because it's true *for me* ❤️🩹💔
❓ Is this is my truth so safe my ego? For what?
To feel myself valued? To put myself higher than other people? By putting this aside I can see more out of the situation.
So even though we both are good enough negotiable I don’t think the further communication is possible. Even communication. He removed our chat.
💔 After bioresonance analytics I realized that I was
- betrayed
- abandoned
- heartbroken.
No matter who’s attack after who’s — we both educated from each other and my responsibility is to learn my part.
🎓 Now I know — I learned:
- my truth is true for me. There’s other people truth.
- for me it is essential to create partnerships everywhere I see
- one of my roles it to educate people even if I feel pain
And all of this had happened, bcz I was another person in my past and I decided to close the gestalt yesterday. I decided to pronounce.
By pronouncing you start your learn process. It’s up to you whether you can withstand or not. Maybe you’ll able to withstand later. this time I was not. And he — too.
I wasn’t aware of what would happen. Maybe I should have put Reikii on the meeting so it would have be mutual beneficial instead of this termination scene 💔
For now definitely I’m more open to make important decisions even if I might be scared of them or feel myself not ready for them 👶🏼
I still feel “feel free to betray me” thing…
Still not having willingness to live.
Still have shame in me.
One bioresonance session was not enough.
Need to heal myself with Reiki.
And looks like I caught cold during my yesterday walk nearby the sea… 🥶
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