My Therapeutic Journey: Rebuilding Trust and Safety
Here’s an insight into my recent therapeutic breakthroughs. 😊
A Key Realization: 🧠
My therapist helped me understand that a person I saw as “toxic” was simply trying to connect with me romantically, as a man to a woman 🤦♀️
This reframing was a powerful first step.
Uncovering My Core Feelings: 🥺
My reaction to this attention wasn’t anger, but shame.
I felt an instinct to hide and make myself small because I didn’t feel emotionally safe.
The underlying reason is a familiar fear for many: the fear of betrayal and the deep-seated worry that a man will leave me once I’m vulnerable.
My Current “Training Ground”: 💪
Now, I am actively practicing how to be a confident woman. I’m doing this work in the safest environment possible - my therapy sessions online.
There, I can practice being present and vulnerable while my therapist provides a steady, reliable presence.
He isn’t going to leave or betray that trust, which allows me to openly voice my shame and fears.
Together, we observe my automatic habit of hiding from male attention.
**A Powerful Dream Metaphor: **💭
This work was perfectly illustrated by a dream I had: I needed to use a toilet, but all the stalls were open and exposed. I chose to wait in a long line for the only one with a door.
And it is so much incomfortable and awkward to work on it with my therapist as it would go to the open stall.
Journey 😐🙄😊
NB: and this is thaaaat Geshtalt therapist who is from company’s marketplace, whom I was about to reject 🙄 One of his specializations is to face violence consequencies
https://t.me/c/2345054470/76
This journey has just begun, and I’m so happy to be freeing myself from these obsolete patterns. I can already feel the weight of them, and simultaneously, I feel this urgent, liberating need to let them go 😅