“I Want to Help You…” ❤️🩹
(But Is It Really Help?)
If you constantly try to “fix” your partner’s emotions - whether their grief, resentment, or struggles - with the intention of being a “good partner” 😇 pause for a moment.
⏸️ Ask yourself: Did they actually ask for this help?
What feels like care might instead:
-** Silence their true feelings - because they learn only “fixed” emotions are welcome.
- Replace their autonomy with your judgment, e.g.,
You’re smoking again - let me help you stop! 🚬
You’re sad? Need healing?
You’re raped, I want to help you heal it!
- Add invisible pressure:** “Am I broken again? Do I need to change to be loved?”
What’s Missing?
→ Pride vs. Presence 👑❤️ - You assume you know what’s best, overriding their own voice
→ Crossed Boundaries 🚧🚷 - Their emotions become your project to solve, not their experience to hold.
The Gestalt Shift
Transformation begins when you:
→ Stay present with their feelings - without fixing 🔧❌
→ Give space for their emotions, mental state, and soul to exist as they are 💞🌿
Otherwise, “care” becomes covert control: “You’re only okay if I approve of how you feel.”
True support means letting others breathe - even in their “unfixed” moments 🌬️💖
@karma_pema_1108: give people time to be themselves 🌿
AI tells me
- I’m writing accusatory posts 🙄
So except of clearer flow I have more reflective style 🤨
But my therapist told me that - to reveal the hard truth to people is one of my inner tasks.
That not only politely invite them in the self-discovery journey, but unmasking, exposing the unpleasant qualities and solutions of people IS my Job from the big letter.
@karma_pema_1108’ considering to give up the AI, but still needs refinement for the grammar and clearer structure in texts 🙄🤔