Allow yourself Amorality to allow you to be Yourself

I percept therapy as a regular true that is unpleasant to myself and to society.
It’s unpleasant to me bcz I see my weakness and where I try to bypass and not grow.
It’s unpleasant to society bcz with therapy I stop following society unwritten rules and start choosing myself.

I should feel joy that I found smth in me. and I rather feel and urgent wish to fix the behaviour that I become aware of now. I feel that I reject myself who is not perfect.

**❓****WHAT I FOUND? **
Not by myself but my responsibility is to ask correct questions.

There is my subpersonality is the one that wants

  • to be correct
  • that wants to measure everything
  • that is not afraid of being called to account
  • but is not ready to recognize the right to do something that is considered immoral in society

My pendulum has swung to the side of

  • correctness
  • responsibility
  • consistency
  • some kind of social consensus.

🫡 And the very same way I must allow myself to be amoral to have satisfaction, freedom and happiness. Kind of I’m not refusing to continue to be consistent, responsible and to have the consistency. I’m the very same time allowing myself to be amoral 😎

🙌 Even if I give the full authorization of everything I want, I will come just to the golden mean. Because I’m too correct, too restricted myself with social rules. I’m too limiting myself.

✨ What I need is to swing the pendulum at least to the middle, I need to allow myself the maximum:

  • I want - I can do (everything).
  • Everything I want, I can do.
    That is, the main thing is that should my desire becomes my measure.

👎 There are some people who really abuse everything they can, they would like to get back on track. This is definitely not my case.

🤨😠I abused myself by forcing me to be an imaginary socially expected “good person”, “correct person”. I didn’t even see, and didn’t even talked to these persons who were about to be damaged by my behaviour.

I need to be not a wrong person or smth, but to be myself all in all.

🐌 On what I found Reiki would work, but sloooow. probably I need to go to the therapy session

  • to remove that guilt to behave amoral
  • and to see something that I don’t see in my behaviour trying to not to grow further, hoping someone do my work instead of me.