WHAT IF YOU DECIDED to PRONOUNCE?

What is next? Should you just pronounce it, while being still scary of your pronounacation consequences? Overcoming and putting yourself in the stressful situation?

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO MAKE IT EASIER?
📐 Question yourself: what is the underlying believe inside of me creates my fear? Can it be that this belief is already obsolete? Can I check it somehow in a safe way? After you change that beliefe you are more free in communications and actions. You change the believe by acknowledging that’s obsolete or not actual for you in this situation anymore and finding another that is more free.

🎓 Highlight that you’re not perfect on your words formulation. Pronounce to your partner that yes, you decided to pronounce and yes, you still feel a bit scared. And praise you for being brave enough today. That you’re doing something today that you haven’t done before.

🗣 Pronounce, that: yes you’re saying all of that stuff and this everything what you specified - is to be discussed. And it’s not something to be discussed right now, - it can be done later.

🏃 So if I pronounced it doesn’t mean that you will run away if you not get it. Yes, you’ll probably run, but run to get smth you want. Not bcz you’re rejecting.

**WHAT PHRASES you can you to help find: **

  • I accept in myself that a part of me dreams of…
  • I feel conflicting parts in me when… so if we… then…
  • I hate when he/she is … and I want instead…

♥️ It’s an honor and responsibility, frankness and strength to do it first, before your partner didn’t do it. Because by this you show, that you’re making steps to build grounded relationship.
You’re making the first step, - means you value the relationships.

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COMMUNICATIONS issues, general
You’re not alone and not the first who met communication difficulties. So here are some insights that may help.

1️⃣ Mixing roles
and thus

  • not separating them
  • thus not valuing them
  • not taking responsibilities
  • not growing

Q&A related the roles:

  • it’s not a shame to wish to have that. But where can I grow myself? Who can help me to see?
  • can give here awareness and attention and receive this in a frank way?
  • can I get it somewhere else and how?

2️⃣ Breaking borders
And

  • not letting know, not acknowledging this fact - is an intervention / aggression
  • not taking care of how it can influence the person
  • neglecting the other’s person inner context and life path
  • and thus devaluating

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💂🏻‍♂️CREATING SAFETY BY PRONOUNCING
What happens by pronouncing? You give safety to your partner.

Because if you aren’r pronouncing while you feel something and after a while you start to move in a certain direction bcz of the feelings / needs that weren’t pronounced…

He/she didn’t expected that, was unaware bcz YOU didn’t tell.

So it becomes fearful to be together bcz you aren’t showing the feelings and why you started to move to the certain direction.

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