To be brave to walk my Path

While still Ill with COVID, I had my therapy session.
The main topic was my not willingness to live ☠️

The root cause of is that my inner father was still controlling my life 🤬
The father’s figure manifested in many people in my life.

  • In men with whom I had relationships.
  • On my work in the supervisors.
  • On my work in that man and it was necessary to obey.

So I didn’t wanted to live bcz I had lived the life that my father choose for me one day.
He chose me to be a software developer.

My choice was to go study in art architecture in Saint-Petersburg. Besides my first places in Olympiads in mathematics, physics and chess,
I also had first places in fine art exhibitions 🎨🖌🖼

Now, no matter what my parents did for me to finish that programmer education, I start my life.
Yes, they sold flat, they travelled to work and were apart bcz of money for education (or… not only bcz of me but it was a good reason to manipulate?…)

I owe them only my honor, appreciateness and thankfulness 🙏
Not my fate, not my freedom, not my money.

My therapist supported me: she was in oil and gas industry bcz her parents were there too.

I still don’t start the business bcz there’s a roadmap of what to be healed and checked before.
But I can do videos and entertain myself 😉

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The Broken Glass is…

On the therapy session I asked to heal the broken glass verses.
My hipotesa was that’s it’s traces of something in my past. I feel this sometimes.

But the answer is - that’s how I percept someone’s intervention into my field. It is in present. I feel this bcz this is how my own clairvoyance works, not the transmitted one.

So.

Nobody gives us instruction manuals to our lifes so I have to ask on therapy sessions what’s happening to me 😅

I heard Sadhguru Inner Engineering book is of that kind explanations for life, but I believe it’s not for clairvoyants 🤔

After that I downloaded several books recommended by my teacher 🌳✨

Oh. S e v e r a l b o o k s 📚📚 and video course. Gotta utilize fast reading technics 😅😅😅

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