I made this channel private today
But why? Bcz my teacher’s post explained something to me https://t.me/alexmagicstep/5051
Shortly in English:
Everyone has a personal field with a boundary. Conflict doesn’t come from just touching someone else’s field - it happens when you open part of your field and invite others in by: 🫣 Complaining ✨ Bragging 💭 Sharing strong opinionsThese all open your field.
You’re inviting reaction - so don’t be surprised if people enter.
If you aren’t ready to defend that space, don’t open it.Most conflict starts where you willingly - or unknowingly - let others in.
Personal borders are about
● notice where you start to demand someone else’s
● notice where you give with fear
My blog is deeply personal.
I was open to everyone.
Now I open to only those who is here.
I’ve chosen with whom I share my thoughts and path.
**Continuing lessons from @Alex_Magicstep: **
There’s a tool: Pause + Disctance. So Keeping my borders is:
● not letting know, in order to not to answer on questions I don’t want to answer - so keeping silence is OK 🤐
// omg my inner child who was trained to be “honest” and “open” now is re-educating
● making distance by not letting in into communication bcz you don’t want that inteeraction 🫣
// earlier I learned I need to be comfortable to everyone helping them with every little thing in their life. Now, allowing myself to ignore or say “NO” and even with a delay.
● making a pause before giving an answer ⏳
// “no rush” style is strange for me. Always people demanded me to answer quickly, give them quickly and I remember that manipulation ” who is giving fast, giving twice” - now I understand this as ” giving the loyalty, too”